The Fan Girl On The Other Side of The Wall
by AnEmotionalVampire
Summary: The Cullens live in an apartment - next door to a fangirl and hear the mumblings of the girl reading Twilight Fanfiction! *Complete*
1. Carlisle's POV

**Author Notes: **Sometimes, staying up late until the wee hours of the mornings, I get a little crazy and I write crazy stuff and so I wrote this. Yes, I was actually reading a fanfic when I was writing this. It's called "Love Gone" By Jess299. It's a great story, but it made me hate Jacob even more than I already do. I know the Cullens normally wont live in an apartment, but they needed to for the sake of this fic! The italics are there to be able to tell its the girl's next door speaking. Oh, before I forget, a big thanks to SG51169 for the help with the title!

**Disclaimer: **I own Twilight! I own Twilight! Well just the book and movie… but in the sense of actually owning it… I don't.

**Fan Girl on the Other Side of the  
**Carlisle's Point of View.

Apartment life was humorous sometimes, especially listening to the neighbor girl reading fanfics about us. She insulted each of us when she felt like we had done something she didn't like and she would say something comforting when we needed the comfort. Right now, she was insulting Edward.

"_Stupid, stupid Edward." _She muttered as she read the story, displeased that he would cheat on Bella with Tanya. Oh the things people write about us._ "I ought to bash his stupid vampire head in." Emmett laughed at Edward._

"I would love to see that." He howled as Edward growled. The girl moved on with her mumbling as she read. I bet she would be quite embarrassed to know that she was being listened to by the vampires she very much adored.

"_Why can't Jacob just die already?" _We snickered at the last comment she made, though Esme scolded us and Bella frowned_. "Oh I hate that mutt. Go Team Cullen!" _She whispered-shout since it was almost 3 am and her psychotic family was sleeping.

Jasper told us that night time was the only time she could really feel relaxed.

"Ah she's taking a quick break from reading." Edward said quietly. "She's going to the bathroom…" we played a quick game on the Wii.

"…and she's back." Edward said after a few moments. "and she's continuing reading. She's not happy at all about Bella being with Jacob." He smirked happily and wrapped his arms around Bella, pulling her close, kissing her head.

"She's Team Cullen. Of course she wont like the mutt." Rosalie said. "Anyone who doesn't like the mutt is good in my book."

"This girl is annoying me, wanting to have Jake die. What did Jake ever do to her?" Renesmee said, frowning, but the rest of us were laughing.

"_Good Edward, have a bloody mountain lion shake." _She murmured happily. We laughed and then Edward sighed.

"She went to bed, all warm and snuggly in her three blankets." He informed us and left the girl's thoughts alone.

"It's apparent," I said quietly. "That the girl likes us."

"Thank you Dr. Obvious." Emmett said to me as he played Mario Kart Wii against me, I knocked him off the edge and laughed.

_**The End.**_


	2. Edward's POV

**Author Notes:** This one shot is turning into a chapter fic, lol. At least it's more relaxed than Growing Pains. Anyways, in every chapter, I will post the fanfics I was reading while writing. I really do think or mutter all the things the neighbor girl does. That's all she'll be known as. Sure, they would know her name, but it takes away the mystery of it all!

In this chapter I read and muttered about:**  
I thought of You** - Terez**  
Reunited** - Jessaya-lurves-twilight

**Chapter Two**  
Edward's Point of View

The girl next door was giggling as we came in from hunting. I decided to take a peak in her mind and found she had just finished reading a rather funny story involving Emmett and Bella, I chuckled a bit and plopped down on the couch, pulling Bella in my lap and kissed her neck.

"So, are we going to listen to the Neighbor Girl mutter about us?" Emmett asked as he settled on the chair.

"I think so." I replied "She's getting tired though, so we probably won't hear too much." Emmett groaned. He enjoyed hearing the girl next door mutter about us. "She's also isn't feeling too well. She's also having trouble finding a good story to read. She's extremely picky." She finally found a story about Jasper and Alice.

_"Aw, Jazzy bought Alice a sunflower!"_ She sighed happily._ "I love them. I wish Alice was my sister. I'd let her take me shopping…"_

Alice held back a squeal. She wished that she could go over and take the fan girl shopping. No one, but Rosalie, ever wanted to go shopping with Alice.

It was evening time. The girl didn't nap, but had been reading, took a bath and played Wii. Now she was reading fanfiction again. I gathered my family, minus Carlisle, who was at work, to listen to her mutterings.

_"I don't think the Volturi got a lot of hugs growing up."_ She muttered, giggling as she pictured Aro getting hugs with a disgusted look on his face. I started to laugh and my family looked at me.

"She pictured Aro getting hugs. Aro looked rather disgusted." I explained. Emmett laughed the loudest, his voice booming. It startled the neighbor girl.

"Hush, Emmett." Esme scolded as the girl's heartbeats went back to normal. She wasn't really muttering much. She's more exciting when it's the middle of the night. I sighed.

_"Mmm, Jasper… so cute."_ She murmured. Jasper ducked his head down. It was silent for a while before she finally whispered._ "Oh no! A cliffhanger, gosh-diddly-darn it!"_ We sighed long with her. We all hated cliffhangers.

We heard the computer being shut down and rustling of the blankets. She was headed off to sleep, which left us with nothing to do besides play video games.

*****

**End Notes:** Sorry this chapter is on the lame side. I haven't been feeling well lately and my humor is suffering from it. Review please?


	3. Jasper's POV

**Author Notes: **Here's chapter three. I woke up early just for you to update it. Updates probably wont come as often since winter vacation is over and I go back to class today (it's currently 4:20am). Enjoy this chapter. All the stories I read and mumble about, are ones I enjoy a lot and think you should check them out!

In this chapter I read and muttered about:**  
Inadequacy **- Le26199

**Chapter Three**  
Jasper's Point of View

It was just Edward, Alice and I at home. The others had wanted to get out, before they lost their minds. Rosalie and Esme dragged Carlisle and Emmett shopping. Bella went to the movies with Nessie. I begged Alice to stay at home with the promise of a trip to New York for a shopping trip.

Alice was snuggled up in my lap and I stroked her hair absentmindedly. We were waiting to hear the mumblings of the neighbor girl. She had been quiet all day. She had slept until 3 in the afternoon, not feeling good.

Edward paused the game he was playing and sat up. It was the first time he really moved, he seemed excited. "It's time." He said, causing Alice to pout. That was usually her line. I laughed and kissed her forehead. "This has you in it, Jazz. And Bella. Here we go…"

It was quiet for a few moments and we held our breaths. It was like she was teasing us, making us wait. Like she knew we were listening in on her random babbling about us in stories people write.

I felt sadness coming from the neighbor girl._ "No, Jazzy, you're not a failure."_ She whimpered. I was taken aback, the sadness was because she was reading a fiction where I must've thought I was a failure. _"Damn-it Jasper, You're not a failure! So stubborn. I swear that coven is full of stubborn people."_

Alice glanced at me and kissed my battle-scared face. "She's right, you're not."

"Uh oh, She's going to be yelling some more." Edward said, interrupting our moment. I sensed the annoyance coming off of the neighbor girl. Alice held my hand and I brought it up to my lips, kissing her soft, tender skin.

It was silence. She was apparently reading quietly. She snorted with laughter after a second and Edward groaned before saying, "She finds the paper-cut incident funny." We all groaned.

_"That was razor sharp paper. Probably made for vampires by vampires."_ we laughed at that. It sounded like some cheesy sales pitch. _"Deep in the catacombs of the Volturi's evil domain. Muwahahah."_ It was silent again. She went back to reading. Apparently, she wasn't feeling too talkative today.

Edward was reading her mind as she read the story and her emotions were changing constantly from happiness to annoyance to a slight case of anger.

_"Alice needs to beat some sense into you, boy."_ She muttered. _"You are not weak. You are not a failure. I mean for Force sakes, you served in the Confederate Army! Oh I would love to get my hands on you. Hmm…"_ her mumblings trailed off, probably into silent thoughts.

"She would love to ask you if you new General "Stonewall" Jackson." I shook my head, I never knew the General, but I had heard of him through my military career in the Confederate Army. I mean who hadn't heard of General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson? That man was a living legend. The neighbor girl loved learning things about the Civil War.

Alice whacked me suddenly and I glanced at her, hurt as I rubbed my head. She smiled. "She said I needed to beat some sense in to you." I chuckled and tapped her nose.

_"Yay!"_ She said. She finished reading the story without uttering a word._ "Good Bella, you knock some sense into Jasper. He doesn't see himself clearly! I like this one."_ She was happy again, it made me happy because I was feeling her happiness.

I picked up Alice and retreated to our bedroom upstairs. Edward, Nessie and Bella had their own apartment just below us, but most of the time they were with us. Edward went back to playing games and to listen to the neighbor girl should she read any more stories.

****

**Notes: **Pardon the Star Wars reference, I enjoy Star Wars and often use the term "Oh for Force sakes". Review please? Who knows you might get another chapter this afternoon or evening! Oh, Edward is always in the story. He read's the neighbor girl's mind as she reads.


	4. Emmett's POV

**Author Notes: **This was hard. I started it and restarted it and didn't know what to write about. Finally I just wrote and came up with this. Emmett is usually the easiest to write about but I had a hard time this time, so with that said, I'm taking a week off from writing. I desperately need this. I've been writing nonstop since September and I punched out 13 Twilight fanfictions in that time. So I deserve this break. So the next update wont be until sometime next week.

Fanfics used in this:

**Punk'd** - SG51169

**Chapter Four**  
Emmett's Point of View

"_I'm gonna re-read Punk'd." The girl murmured softly._ I glanced at Eddie-boy and heard him growl and I smiled.

We sat back to listen to the neighbor girl's mumblings about us. I wonder what she would say. I hope it's a good story. I wish I could read minds.

"It's not all great, Emmett." Edward said. "There are a lot of dirty minded people out there and you wouldn't like what people actually thought of you." He smirked.

"_Oh no, Edward Cullen is in a bad mood. Everyone better run for the hills." _The fangirl giggled as she read, I laughed along with her, more quietly. Apparently, my loud, booming laugh startles her too much, which is quite funny when a human is startled. _"Oh Emmett, how dare you hurt Bella, even unintentionally." _

I froze, the smile gone. This cannot be good. I felt worried and my playful nature seemed to have disappeared. Edward glared at me. "Maybe it's not bad." I chuckled nervously. "Lets just listen." in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, I have a bad feeling about this.

"_Stop making fun of Edward for wanting to… wait until marriage, Emmett." _The neighbor scolded and I snickered. _'Possessive enough, Edward? Well, I guess since Bella is in the emergency room…again… Ha! I bet she has me beat!" _

We waited for more murmuring. It seems that she was multi-tasking and trying to stay awake. _"Oh your brave Bella! How sweet. I hope she knows you kiss her in her sleep. I wonder what else you do…" _Bella glanced at Edward with raised brow and I laughed. Edward just kissed her and held her close in his lap.

The girl continued to read.

"Emmett!" Edward shouted at me, suddenly. "How dare you prank my Bella while she's asleep." I shrunk back.

"_Poor Bella not having fun at all."_ The neighbor girl whispered and sighed. _"Of course she IS Bella and tripping over her own two feet is normal. As is falling down the stairs…poor Bella thinking she broke her bum and no Edward to sooth the pain."_

"Ow, ow, ow, Edward stop!" I said as he whacked me endlessly across the head. He delivered one final slap which was so hard it caused me to lurch forward and I would've gone flying if it weren't for Rosalie holding me.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you'll stop hitting your brother right this instant." Esme said in her "don't mess with me" motherly voice. Edward sat back and held Bella, looking shamefaced. "Apologize to him now."

"Sorry Emmett." He said as I rubbed my head out of effect. There was laughter both from the neighbor girl and from Edward at that moment, ruining Edward's apology.

"_Alice just served you a can of whoop ass, Em. You're right, your sister owned you now."_ She giggled then frowned. _"Don't cry Emmett, go eat an irritable grizzly. It'll make you feel better." _

I didn't say anything as my family laughed at me and hung my head as I covered it with my hand waiting for anymore hits to the head either from Rosie or Edward, but none came and that just caused them to laugh even more.

Alice stopped looking, "Neighbor girl can hear us laugh, she just glanced at the wall." We quieted down. "I wanna go shopping. Come on Emmett, for the treatment of Bella in the fanfic, you're going to really be my whipping boy and carry all my bags." I groaned and got up.

You just can't say no to Alice.

**End notes: **I don't think this was as funny as the last, but I have more funnier chapters planned so just stay tuned until next week sometime, where I am hopefully feeling refreshed from a writing break. Hopefully after my break, I'll get my funny back.

Edited on April 17, 2012 to fix it up and italicize the fangirl's mumblings, which I forgot to do in the original chapter four.


	5. Alice's POV

**Author Notes: **Well here is the next chapter! I don't know if It's great, but I tried. I'm also working on a few other stories, one of them has to do with **SG51169**'s Punk'd fanfic so I suggest reading that one :D

**Featured Fanfictions:****  
Vampire Sins **-VeggieVampBabe  
**My Reason For Living **- Ellie Marsy**  
Nurses of Forks **- Santiva potter

**Chapter Five**  
Alice's Point Of View

I loved the neighbor girl. I wish I could take her shopping with me! She even said she'd want to go shopping with me. The only ones who enjoyed shopping as much as me as Rosalie. Sometimes Esme would come along but she didn't like it as much as me unless she was looking for things to refurbish.

I sat down in Jasper's lap and laid my head against his chest. I loved my Jasper. I wondered when the fangirl would read again. She hadn't been reading for a few days now. Ah, she decided! YAY!! I sat up and called my family around. They were all here today seeing as it was Carlisle's day off.

"It's story time!" I cheered. "Edward, what's she reading today?" He was quiet for a few moments.

"_Wow!" the neighbor girl said. "That was a waste of 30 seconds of my life! New story!"_

"It wasn't worth mentioning." Edward said, agreeing with the neighbor girl.

"_And all this time I thought it was about them drinking human blood." _She muttered. _"But noo, Alice and Rosalie had to lock themselves in the bathroom staring at themselves in the mirror. I'd expect this from Rosalie but not Alice. Besides The only thing I didn't like was that vampires were accepted by humans! It takes away the mythical-ness of it all! Oh well. It was still funny."_

Rose and I giggled as we pulled out mirrors from our purses and started to stare at each other, sighing and teasing our husbands as we gave them seductive looks. They growled and we laughed. Edward just rolled his eyes.

"She found a different fic…" Edward suddenly glared at Jasper and I. Oh dear… what have we done. "Bella and I aren't corny!" You know, I really had to ponder about that.

"Whatever she is reading I'm going to have to agree with the story." Jasper said and went back to stroking Alice's hair.

Now the neighbor girl was laughing hysterically. We all heard her trying to catch her breath and sniffle, wiping away her tears. _"That was funny. I love Jazz, he's so silly when he's relaxed."_

Jasper nuzzled his head in my hair, though we all knew he was slightly embarrassed. I grinned and patted his hand, bringing it up and kissing it.

"Oh, she's doing three today." Edward smirked and I giggled. Sometimes it was as if I could read my brother's mind we were so in tuned to each other. "This time it's about Carlisle." Our father straightened up to pay attention.

"_Hmm, looks like he can't get the attention of a nurse." _She said aloud, almost in a musing voice. Carlisle groaned and we all giggled. I bounced over and hugged him. He patted my head and Edward laughed out loud at something.

"If only we could be so lucky, Carlisle." He was apparently replying to something Carlisle said in his mind. "But we have Jasper to keep her calmed down." I growled playfully and bounced back over to my husband.

"The nurses just made a bet! One thinks Carlisle is married and the other things he's single or either gay." We all cracked up. Even Esme was laughing. "And now enter Esme. By the way, guys, A…the neighbor girl read this before." We caught the slip.

"_Haha! They wont let Esme say Carlisle!" _The girl was laughing her own human butt off now, but quieted. Her attention was diverted to the TV. _"So… what happened? Did he die or pass out?"_ She inquired to her father.

"_Dead."_ Her father said and said something else but her attention went back to the story.

"_He he he he… Just found out she's his wife. And what a lovely wife she is. Too bad I can't be his wife! Oh well… doctors are sort of creepy anyways. Well.. Second to dentists."_ The neighbor girl whimpered at the thought of dentists it seemed. I glanced at my husband.

"Hey! We're not creepy!" Carlisle protested, chuckling.

"A wave of fear went through her when she said dentist." Jasper said. "Seems like she's afraid of them.

"_Well… I'll have to continue this later. Off to the store! Caffeine here I come! MUWAHAHAH!" _

I laughed and glanced at Jasper. "She's going to be hyper tonight. Want to go hunting?" He nodded eagerly and jumped up. We left for the night.

***

**End Notes:** I don't know why, but I had trouble writing this chapter. I do know however that there are only five chapters left, but I only have four more to write. Hope you enjoy this and yes, I'm back to writing. I have a four day weekend! Yay!


	6. Rosalie's POV

**Author notes: **Sorry about the lack of updates. I was working on finishing the entire fic. I have one chapter to finish and the last one to write up. Then I might just write up a chapter in the neighbor girl's point of view! Anyways Enjoy this!

**Chapter Six**  
Rosalie's Point of view.

They were arguing again. The psycho sister and neighbor girl kept spewing off insults towards each other and threats, though the neighbor girl's threats were weaker than the psycho sister's threats. They were loud, but psycho sister was louder.

"_Just LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm surprise we're not driving the neighbors mad with our yelling!" _The neighbor girl said finally frustrated and calm at the same time. We glanced at Jasper who shook his head.

"Wasn't me." And so the neighbor girl finally calmed herself down. Her psycho sister was trying to get her worked up again and Jasper sighed as well as Edward.

"_you're nothing but a selfish bitch. I know what people think of you. You're nothing but a retard. People just pretend to like you because they feel sorry for you." _The psycho sister said and Jasper whimpered, feeling the hurt coming from the neighbor girl obviously. I held on to Emmett. I wanted to rip her sister apart. Alice danced over to me and hugged me.

"Aren't you glad we get along?" She said and I gave her a small hug back and nodded. I was very much glad we get along. If Bella were here, instead she took Nessie to the mall with Jacob to get some new shoes, I'd hug her as well. Alice was forbidden to go with them.

"That poor dear." Esme murmured wanting to go over and comfort their young neighbor fan. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck.

"_You're just jealous."_ The psycho sister said.

"_Ha! Jealous of what?! You keep bringing this up and I don't understand what do I have to be jealous of you for? You have nothing in life I want!" _The neighbor girl was close to losing it.

"She's going to start to read now." Edward said. "She wants to ignore psycho sister. She's trying to decide what she's in the mood for. Ahh, humor and Aro… hmm…" We perked up, wondering what crazy things people made the Volturi do.

"Well! That cheered her up!" Jasper said, delighted by hearing the small giggles escaped. I smiled too as did Emmett. A happy Rosalie means a happy Emmett. Edward groaned as Emmett and I looked at each other with sparkles in our eyes. Our thoughts were both on the same wave link.

"_Well, I suppose I should even things up and read a few Rosalie and Emmett fics. I love Emmett, he can be my big brother any day."_ The girl murmured softly. Emmett grinned. _"Rosalie is okay too."_ I pouted. I was just okay, but at least I was warming up to her. Edward had told me that she didn't like me at the beginning and didn't even think I was beautiful.

A human! Didn't think I was beautiful! How…wrong was that! I was very, very beautiful. But alas, she thought Esme and Alice were far more stunning than I. I loathed the neighbor girl for a while. I'm the world's most beautiful creature out there. Humph. I caught my reflection in the glass of the TV.

"Vain much, Rosalie?" Edward said. I growled.

"_Wow! Emmett is smart! And right. We do take the smallest things and turn them into a big thing. We humans…we must love drama."_ She laughed quietly.

I wasn't paying much attention anymore. I was thinking of how to do my hair tomorrow and what I would wear. I untangled myself from Emmett and went to our room. Emmett got up and tagged along, slamming the door behind us.

"So, who wants to leave?" Edward said. They jumped up and we heard the door slam shut a second later. Emmett cheered and gently tossed me on the bed.

****

**End Notes:** Hope you enjoyed this! I'm uploading the next three chapters right away! By the way, I don't remember what fics I was reading. I usually keep track but I've been forgetful lately. Sorry!


	7. Esme's POV

**Author Notes: **Again another chapter, and again I don't remember what fic I read, but if I find it again, I'll be sure to give credit where credit is due. If you recognize it, or think you recognize it, send me a message!

**Chapter Seven**  
Esme's Point of View

I never knew a family that argued as much as they did. At least a human family. My children argued fairly often, but those two go at it like no tomorrow. The younger girl, who we dubbed neighbor girl, didn't seemed to like the fighting and arguing.

It was peaceful over there now and quiet, almost as if no one was home but we knew better as our vampire senses can hear better than humans.

"_I'm gonna get you!"_ the neighbor girl suddenly squealed and ran after cat who promptly took off for cover. _"Hehe, works every time."_ It was nice to hear her so cheerful. I wonder if I should bake her cookies.

"No Esme." Edward said suddenly, looking up from the board game he was playing with his daughter and Jacob. Edward never read Renesmee's mind. Suddenly he sat up. "She's reading again." he smirked and declined to share, saying I wouldn't like it.

There were a few things in life I didn't like. Fighting, my children being upset, my husband being unhappy and Alice's meltdowns when she's been banned from a store she likes are just to name a few. Oh and my children eating humans. At least they got better at that last one.

I snuggled up against Carlisle and sighed. He buried his face in my hair and kissed my head.

"Carlisle?" I said softly, "I miss Forks." Out of all the places we've lived in, Forks was my favorite. We hadn't been there in maybe 50-60 years.

"You want to move back?" He asked, setting down his book. I nodded. "Well then, we will." He kissed me tenderly and laid his chin on my head.

"Get a room you two." Nessie told us. We laughed. The kids continue to play. The others were out either hunting or shopping.

"_Lame."_ The girl murmured.

"She's reading Star Wars stories now." Edward said, shrugging his shoulders. He wasn't a Star Wars fan. Emmett and Jasper enjoyed it a lot. Carlisle and I preferred the prequel and cheesy love story. Well, I did. Carlisle just watched it with me like a good husband that he is.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" _The girl suddenly screamed, causing us to jump. _"Spider! Spider! DADDYYY!!!"_ We chuckled as we heard her father stumble out. _"KILL IT! KILL IT!" _

"_Oh it's just a itty bitty spider." _Her father said.

"_I don't care! It's still a spider! It could be deadly and bite me and I die and I don't do death! Death and I, dad? We don't mix! Get rid of it!" _

"_Fine." _We heard the front door open and shut. _"There gone." _

"_Whew." _The girl said. _"Now…where was that Carlisle and Esme story I was reading earlier…Ah yes."_

"Ewww." Edward said and I glanced at him, curious. He shrugged and looked at Jacob. "Hey Jacob, how about you take Nessie for ice cream or something." Nessie jumped up and cheered. It wasn't often her father actually allowed her to have sweets. Jacob grinned and left with my granddaughter.

Suddenly, the neighbor girl burst into giggles. _"Ew, Carlisle talking nasty!" _She howled with laughter and Edward shuddered. _"And I'm sure the whole town of Forks doesn't need to hear Esme cry out your name in ecstasy!" _

Carlisle and I exchanged glances. I'm sure if we could blush we'd be red. Edward buried his hands in his face.

"_However, I still don't see Esme as the cursing type, even when making hot passionate love…"_ She mused and I grinned. If only she knew how nasty I could become and only in bed with Carlisle. I ran a finger down his chest.

"Guys!" Edward moaned and we glanced over at him. He was gripping his head. Carlisle and I were by his side in a instant. I rubbed my son's back as Carlisle tried to take his mind off of the girl's thoughts. After a few moments he relaxed.

"_Finished!" _The girl cheered. We all sighed a breath of relief. _"Now on to the next."_

_****_

**End Notes:** Another finished chapter means just closer to the finish. Sadness for you happiness for me. :D


	8. Jasper's POV Again

**Author Notes:** A Big, big thanks to SG51169 with help with this chapter. This chapter deals with issues of the feminine type!

**Chapter Eight**  
Jasper's Point of View

The mood swings were horrible and she was almost as bad as an irritable grizzly bear coming out of hibernation at the end of winter. She snapped at her family quite often and would usually feel guilty afterwards and burst into tears, sobbing. The sound was muffled as she buried her face in a pillow, sniffling.

What the hell is wrong with this girl? I thought as I burst into dry-sobs, my lower lip quivering, crying for no reason. I glared at him, snapping "You don't understand! None of you do! I can't handle this rollercoaster of emotions, men don't feel guilty or cry when they snap at people… it's driving me crazy!" Alice danced over and hugged me, I buried my face in her hair and cried.

"_The Cullen girls have it so lucky."_ The neighbor girl said, still whimpering. _"They don't have to worry about bleeding once a month. I wanna be a sparkly vampire!!_" she wailed and we looked at the wall as if she were nuts.

All of it was so strong, especially what I was feeling from her. I huddled in a corner going over battles from the Civil War trying to take my mind off of the scent of blood, her mood, pain, and cravings. I was just going over the Battle of Gettysburg, which I didn't fight in but knew the specifics of it when I was hit with an odd craving and found myself ordering broccoli beef over pan fried noodles!

That's disgusting… wait, I wonder… I asked for raw beef and hold the broccoli, noodles and gravy. Who ever was on the other line hung up. I burst into another set of sobs, my craving denied, but another strong craving came on and I tore the house apart for chocolate. Chocolate I knew we did not have.

Worse of all, I hate chocolate. I hated it when I was a human. I was more of a strawberry type of guy, much like how General Stonewall Jackson was a Lemon type of guy. Yes, I wanted strawberries. Disgusting, red, plump strawberries…

Oh, God, what was wrong with me! I'm a vampire for crying out loud! I DON'T eat human food! I eat animal blood!

The neighbor girl finally spoke again, _"Oh God, the pain…" _She whimpered as a particularly strong cramp came on. I let out a whimper and then noticed Emmett was watching me as I experienced what the neighbor girl was experiencing.

"Hey Jasper? Can I get you anything for the pain?" Emmett said with a humorous look on his face. My face scrunched up as I dry-sobbed again. "Oh man, buddy, I didn't mean to make you cry. Jeez! You're so sensitive around this time of month!"

"_Can't…make it out of bed. Stuck… forever… bleed to death…" _she was being over dramatic. She knew that and I knew that but she didn't know that I knew that. She was all for a bit of dramatics sometimes and it was funny.

"I feel your pain girl…" I whimpered. _Soo horrible… need… to put girl out of misery…_ my thoughts had me inching towards the door.

In a moment of my insanity, and my sudden mood swings, an idea came to mind. The pain was too much for either of us. I wonder how girls could stand this every month for one week. I inched towards the front door, wanting so bad to end the girl's suffering and in doing so, ending mine.

I was almost there.

Almost.

There.

When Alice pounced on me.

I moaned. Next month, I'm going hunting. I'm not sticking around here with a bunch of PMSing females. It's worse then being at school!

"I will be very put out with you if you kill the neighbor girl. I like her." Alice said and I sighed. I can't make my Alice upset, but I pouted anyways.

"No killing the neighbor girls." Emmett said, waggling his finger at me. I snarled at him and pounced on him, crashing into the couch.

"Jasper! Emmett!" Carlisle walked in the door just thing.

"Ah! The pain!" I doubled over. Life simply wasn't fair. Carlisle hurried over to me, his fatherly instincts kicking in.

Emmett grinned, "Don't worry, Pops. He's just PMSing." Emmett howled with laughter along with Edward.

***

**End Notes:** I had fun writing this chapter. No fangirl reading fanfics in this one! It was just a fun chapter to write! :D hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. It must suck for Jasper to be a empathic being living next to a very sensitive girl! Oh by the way, the lemon thing about General Jackson is accurate. :)


	9. Edward's POV Again

**Author notes: **Second to Last Chapter! :D Hope you enjoy this. I don't remember one of the fanfics I read while writing this.

**Fanfic read:****  
The Trouble with Vampire Boyfriends and Small Cats **- jrose452

**Chapter Nine**  
Edward's Point of view

Living next to her hadn't been so bad, except for when she would read x-rated stories about Carlisle and Esme or when she and her sister would argue, or when she'd PMS and drive Jasper into a most hilarious emotional wreck.

It's a shame we were moving soon. We "kids" had ganged up on Carlisle and Esme and demanded we move either back to Forks, Alaska or somewhere back east. Perhaps I could brush up on my medical knowledge.

We all sat in the "main apartment" as we called Carlisle and Esme's place since we all hung out there despite the fact that Bella and I had our own.

_What to read? Ew Jacob, I hate him. It's a shame he can't meet a unfortunate death. _It was a shame. I hated the fact that the mutt imprinted on my little girl. I listened in on her thoughts for a while. _Hmm…_

"Hey guys, she's thinking of reading more fanfics." I informed my family. It was one of our favorite past-times to listen to her. We perked up.

"Why doesn't she read any about me?" Jake complained.

"Because she doesn't like you, Mutt." Rosalie told him. Jacob pouted and Esme rubbed his back comfortingly.

_Oh! I love this story. Hehe. _

"It's time." I said, stealing Alice's line. She scowled at me and I laughed.

"_Ew, I don't need to know Carlisle's plans of seducing Esme. Hmm, I wonder if he's the dominate or submissive one in bed. Just imagine Esme wearing black leather and a whip in hand." _

Everyone in the room shuddered and I was glad Nessie was asleep. Emmett glanced up and looked at our parents.

"So…are you submissive?" He asked nonchalantly. Rosalie smacked his head. "Ow…damn-it woman would you quit that? You don't see me hitting you! I'm tired of being smacked around! I'm not a punching bag!" Wow. Finally, he says what's truly on his mind. He rubbed his head. Rosalie looked incredulous.

"I'm sorry." She murmured, feeling quite bad now.

"Aw, don't worry about it babe." Emmett pulled her in his lap and kissed her forehead. "I'm not mad. Can't ever be mad at you." We rolled our eyes. Though I knew he was still mad in his mind, I knew he didn't want Rosalie to feel bad.

_Edward! How dare you eat Bella's cat! _The girl thought, scolded me suddenly, but the seriousness of it was lacked due to her stifled giggles. _"Haha, Carlisle called Edward a dumbass." _

"Why would I do that?" Carlisle asked, confused.

"_Edward, why did you eat Bella's kitty?"_ The fangirl asked and Carlisle's mouth went into the shape of an "O". Everyone glared at me. "You're screwed…"

And… I was. Even if it was just a story, my brothers would never let me forget it. They were laughing at me now and Bella was giving me the death glare she had perfected since changing into a vampire.

"Aw, Bella-Bells, don't glare at me like that" I whispered in her ear and stood up taking her hand. I looked at Carlisle and Esme. "Can Renesmee stay here tonight?"

"Of course, son." Carlisle smiled and I left with Bella.

_Ahh…I think I'll read a Bella and Edward lemon…_

I chuckled and took Bella to our apartment.

***

Notes: Hope you enjoyed it! Review please :D


	10. Carlisle's POV Again

**Author Notes:** And so This is it. The last chapter… end of the line….finished the story. Over and done with…etcetera… etcetera… etcetera… Enjoy and review.

**Chapter Ten**  
Carlisle's Point of View.

"_Where did she meet them at? In a tribal council?"_ She said and then she howled with laughter.

She was laughing hysterically and we could smell the salt of her laughter-tears. She tried to gasp for air. I wonder why she found that so funny. Of course, from what we learned, she was easily amused.

I would miss being her neighbor when we move in a few days. Esme was fluttering around the apartment, packing what little belongings that we brought.

"_That was great!"_ Her mother said, laughing along with her. However, her father didn't think it was so great and we heard a door slammed and angry mutterings. The mother and daughter ignored him as they laughed. The neighbor girl laughing the hardest. So hard I thought she'd pass out. I still wondered why that was funny.

"Her grandmother is the daughter of an Native American Chief." He simply said. Of course he would know, he was the mind reader. He knew more about that family that he wasn't willing to share. Said it wasn't his to share and we all understood that. He helped wrapped up some of Esme's breakables as I lounged on the couch.

I was wearing cargo pants and a dark blue shirt and my hair wasn't slicked back. I was dressed as a normal 23-year-old would be dressed.

"We're out of boxes." Esme said, frowning. I stood up.

"I'll go get some more." I told her as I went over and kissed her tenderly. She ran a hand through my hair, tussling it a bit. I grinned and nibbled on her lip gently. "Be back soon." I finally tell her as I pull away. Edward's face is one of disgust. _I thought you'd be used to it by now after many decades of us being together. _

He laughed and then looked serious. "Parents shouldn't make out in front of their children. That's why Bella and I never make out in front of Nessie." He said seriously. I chuckled and left.

"_Die Jacob! DIE! DIE! DIE!"_ the neighbor girl cackled and I chuckled. She didn't like Jacob at all. Not one bit. Except for his foul smell and his imprinting on my grandbaby, he really wasn't such a bad kid. Unless you count the times he tried to steal Bella from Edward or called us names or wanted shortly before finding out Bella was pregnant with Nessie… then yes, he wasn't a bad kid.

I returned home to find it quiet and my children, except Alice, Rosalie, Bella and Renesmee who were in New Hampshire preparing our house for us, sitting on the couch, staring at Jacob. In front of Jacob were six packages of Oreos.

Uh-oh, this can't be good. Edward looked at me and smirked. I quirked an eyebrow up and Jacob started eating the Oreos. I wonder if people can overdose on cookies. Edward laughed.

"For a doctor Carlisle…" He started and I interrupted him.

"If you want to live to see tomorrow, I advise you not to finish that sentence." I threatened my son. He promptly shut up. "Good boy." I patted his messy hair. "Jacob, don't come running to me if you get sick." My sons burst into laughter as Jacob devoured the disgusting Oreos.

"_I'm gonna read."_ We heard a murmur and suddenly we all sat in the living room, sitting down. Amazing how three simple words caught our attention.

"_Nothing good to read. Maybe this is it then. The end. No more good stories to read." _She murmured and we sighed. No more stories. _"Now, it's time to write my own… I have many ideas to torture Jacob and the Cullens."_ she cackled and we sighed.

"It just FIGURES." Emmett said, "That she would write about us AFTER we're going to move." He spoke what was on everyone's mind it seemed since we nodded in agreement.

"_Now what if the Cullens were my neighbors… that would be embarrassing."_ She mused. Oh if only she knew. If only she knew. _"It would make a great story though..."_

_**The end.**_


	11. Neighbor Girl's POV Bonus Chapter

**Author Notes: **A bonus chapter! A surprise just for you! Hope you enjoy it! It's probably not as funny...but hey, I almost didn't do this! :)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight but I own the "Neighbor Girl".

**Bonus Chapter**  
Neighbor Girl's POV

Apartment life sucks. Too bad it wasn't more entertaining. Because wouldn't it be awesome if say your favorite sparkly vampire family moved in next door? Of course, you would have to watch what you think! Or feel! Or decide! But perhaps, maybe a certain vampire mom would make you chocolate chip cookies! Yum.

I have a vivid imagination. I daydream a lot. I think of things I wanna write about and think of places I want to visit. I do my best thinking when I'm in the bathroom. Actually, that's where I mostly get all my ideas - when I'm going to the bathroom. Too much information, I know.

But this isn't about me being on the toilet thinking of some grand idea. Nope, not at all. This is about the weird neighbors I have. The secret neighbors. The ones I never, ever, ever see. It's like the apartment is empty but I know it's not because I hear laughter. Loud, booming, boisterous laughter.

It actually scared the crap out of me once. I swear I almost had a heart attack. I was minding my own business reading a fanfic when there was loud laughter. And probably a small earthquake. It was actually scary.

Did my neighbors EVER sleep? Seriously, it was like someone was always up. The walls weren't very sound proof and lets just say they can be loud in the bedrooms sometimes. I shudder and push THAT thought out of my mind. It was like they were the energizer bunny. They kept going and going and going. VERY disturbing.

Anyways, not that anyone needs to hear about the activities of my unknown, mysterious neighbors.

Sigh.

Tonight was boring. Extremely, exhaustingly boring.

_Thud. _I jumped and glared at the wall.

"GAH!!" I allowed myself to say frustrated by their loudness. "It's 2 am! Can't a person get some sleep?" I whine, half-hoped they heard me.

_Thud._

I can't wait until they move.

By the way, did I mention that apartment life sucks? Because, really it does.

I'm off to bed, I think. Maybe. Perhaps. Oh, I don't know. I'm a very indecisive person.

Oh wait, I hear music. Loud, annoying music. I pull back my covers and I get dressed and I march to their door and knocks.

And Oh. My. Cullen.

Wow.

I'm at a loss for words and so I stutter. Ask them to keep it down. Stare into his golden eyes, look at his blonde hair. Wait golden eyes…?

He smiles. I think I'm, what the word? Dazzled, that's it. Yes I'm dazzled.

"Sure, sorry if we woke you." He said. His voice soft and soothing.

"N…no…problem…" I mutter and go back to my place. "Wow… I think I died and gone to heaven." I go back to my bed and snuggle in my blankets.

Wow. I hope it wasn't a dream. Cause that would suck.

Maybe apartment life isn't so bad. Not with hot neighbors like him. Wow.

_**The end for reals.  
**_

*********

**Author Notes: **Hope you enjoyed this bonus chapter. It was difficult to write and to stop writing! Now this story is officially at an end! Review please?


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